Beauty for the mundane

Tonight I hear crickets nighttime melodies and feel music vibrations ripple and bounce off the lake while pinpoint lights flicker in the distance.
I am here at a Lake in Upstate New York and its beautiful. I am here in a Victorian house from the 1800's and it's beauty is breathtaking. There is no "AC" and I don't know if there is a TV. The windows are open and the crisp air is reminiscent of a simplier time. Even this post may have difficulty getting through to some "wifi."
I am here with 20 or so women veterans. Many whom I know from Facebook and this is my first time meeting them "face to face". I am giddy, tickled, girlish juvenile while talking to each one and treating them with a big hug.
I'm just happy to be alive. Alive! Having feelings! ALL of them. The boring day to day ones the "special occasion" ones. I'm glad I'm getting to experience them ALL- even triggers and anxiety from PTS. Yep even those. My life has so much value to me partly because I get to see others enjoy their lives and I get to soak it up and feel it all. Just being in others lives while they go through the "mundane" experiencing life in the day to day things that we take for granted. I can't take any of it for granted there are so many who will never get to feel this. Never get to know what it's like to have all the feelings I'm speaking of. The color of their lives has been stripped away because of the depression and PTS and there are too few to step in "professionally" to help.
Peer support has been the non professional support that has sustained me when the professionals had given up on me when I didn't meet their statistics for their reports. These women veteran have been the scaffolding which kept me alive and encouraged when I couldn't encourage myself. I am here tonight both in present state and present place because "day to day" someone posted and reposted silly pictures jokes events and helped me build a community of support which has supported quite a few and me in the process.
It's early and quiet. All the laughter and chatter has subsided. I have warm tears of joy. How awesome is knowing that I am in a safe space where I am loved and appreciated especially by awesome talented veteran women. I can not "cash" this or equate it to a monetary amount (kabillion) but I can bask in the beauty of this moment.