A Brand New Day

It's 2am a usual time for me to dust of the " ole" computer and say a few things about myself and what I am going throug. It's been more than a month and amazingly, I am still here. Could it be that I, like the many species, through adaptation, have become stronger so the uneccessary things of life won't bring me down? In a very strange way I started to think a out this process of PTSD becoming an adaptation- a mutation if you will. One that prepared and protected until a time of safety. Anyway, its not that far fetched a notion. As a matter of fact the initial biological changes are there for safety. What happens though when these devices are no longer needed and you are exhausted from all of the safety planning you have to do rechecking locks and alarms, checking children's bedrooms and windows, walking briskly, avoiding eye contact, and pretending to not "hear" people you don't know asking you questions. Yep, done them all and a few more not listed here. Well, when you get tired you can go through a process that allows you to "relearn" or learn how to NOT do these things. (smile) Right now I am in that process through counseling and CBT cognitive behavioral therapy. I know there is a stigma to seeking "help" for (whispering) mental health issues. Um, it's not communicable I can't spread "it" by touching or talking to someone nor will "it" rub off. I chose to hire a professional to help me with something I couldn't do myself. It's a brand new day for me.