Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Are all things fully "considered"

I want to be mad I want to flail my arms kick and scream! I want to cry and say how UNFAIR life has been for me- but I can't. Its true - a truth- in the midst of other things going on.
We had a big "pow wow" today. I realize that I kept a lot in (past non disclosures) but I also told a lot. During that time in my life I was afraid- I was angry and no one could help me- or be
willing to.
I see and hear the apologetic words and wavering voices sorrowful for past infractions of faithful friendship, relationship and family. Most times I hear the silence of knowing what was wrong and how to correct it and no one moving toward "corrective action."
I waver emotionally blowing swirling in the wind of past present and future. I am none of those things fully but the sum of them all.
Waffle and chicken wings in mild sauce - that was my "dinner" I am aching physically and literally please God don't let this foolishness be the end of me.

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