Forgiveness: This time

I think I get it now. About forgiveness. Its been hard but the forgiveness part has been a pebble in my shoe for years. Trying not to think about how I was treated or mistreated didn't help any. Putting the past behind me etc didn't work either. There was always a tempest brewing underneath underneath the calm reservoir of my personality.  From zero to "bitch" in six seconds although in my heart this was not how I wanted to be or be viewed but those buttons could be pushed so easily. I didn't realize that those buttons were triggers to trauma.