Are all things fully "considered"

I want to be mad I want to flail my arms kick and scream! I want to cry and say how UNFAIR life has been for me- but I can't. Its true - a truth- in the midst of other things going on.
We had a big "pow wow" today. I realize that I kept a lot in (past non disclosures) but I also told a lot. During that time in my life I was afraid- I was angry and no one could help me- or be
willing to.
I see and hear the apologetic words and wavering voices sorrowful for past infractions of faithful friendship, relationship and family. Most times I hear the silence of knowing what was wrong and how to correct it and no one moving toward "corrective action."
I waver emotionally blowing swirling in the wind of past present and future. I am none of those things fully but the sum of them all.
Waffle and chicken wings in mild sauce - that was my "dinner" I am aching physically and literally please God don't let this foolishness be the end of me.

My boyfriend

My mom calls me from California and asks me of course, how I am doing and the children as well. She usually asks me before the end of the conversation how my boyfriend and I are doing. I usually laugh and say its the best relationship that I have had in a long time. After a year and a half of having "him" around and spending lots of time, I found that I thoroughly enjoy the time we spend together. I take him with me and like to go places where we can share time together even when people are around.